You’re standing in one corner of the room, facing off against your opponent. You’re a Kiwi, a pioneer, born with a Masters in DIY. You’ve got this.

In the opposite corner is a beast, a big one. They don’t come small. It has a hard shiny exterior, a lot of black and white teeth and between three to six legs. Depending on the model, it’ll be standing upright or in a squatting position.

This beast isn’t unfamiliar or unwelcome in your home. You know it better as ‘your piano.’ The challenge that lies before you is to move this melodic monster.

It’s just a piano, right? Kiwis have always punched well above our weight. We climbed Everest, split the atom and hold the Rugby World Cup. You don’t need piano movers to do the job. You dust off your hands, confident you’ll show this piano who’s boss. After all, you’ve already disposed of its friend, a lightweight, better known as the piano stool.

But Kiwis are also smart, so before you get ready to rumble, here are some facts about your seemingly harmless opponent. The smallest upright piano weighs approximately 180 kilograms and stands 100 centimetres tall. The weight comes from the heavy cast iron harp inside. If you’re more of a Dame Kiri Te Kanawa piano owner, a large or grand piano isn’t as tall, but can weigh as much as half a ton.

That’s right, your piano can weigh as much as the All Blacks tight five. Now, you probably wouldn’t want to pack down in a scrum against those blokes by yourself. It’d be like what Mike Catt received from Jonah Lomu five times over.

It isn’t just the size and weight of the piano that makes it tricky to move. They’re also difficult to balance while carried as many pianos are ‘back heavy.’ Try carrying an empty box on one arm and a box full of books on the other and you’ll see what we mean.

There are just some things Kiwis shouldn’t put on the DIY list. Moving is stressful enough without dealing with an injured back. Did we also mention the risk of injury to shoulders, hips, knees, hands, ankles, feet and toes? Imagine a piano on your toe. Ouch.

Let’s not forget the piano here. The cost of repairing a dropped piano will also make your eyes water. Certain pianos, such as four legged models, need to be moved a few steps at a time to prevent damage.

So before you cross the room to take on this harmless looking object used to tinkle out tunes, it’ll definitely be easier and probably cost you less to get piano movers to do the job. Your time is better spent playing the piano than trying to move it.